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That other shoe...

I read this post a few days ago, and I have said, many times in my own life, that I am waiting for that other shoe to drop. Always waiting. Always living in fear of what will happen, what it will mean, how it will affect my life, ...and living in a defensive state to protect what little bit of my heart I have allowed out.

Also, there's this comment- "I didn't know much about them, though down on the floor of the ocean, where I lived in my child world, I could sense disturbances up above on the surface of the ocean" (Nuala O'Faolin- Are You Somebody?)

She's speaking about her parents, and the trouble that assailed their marriage from early on. When you live in a world where there are mighty disturbances (not understood but are felt) from childhood on, I think you tend to grow up in such a way that the shoe is always dangling above your head, threatening your very precarious happiness. I believe this to be true at least for my brother and myself.

So now comes the part where I tell it like it is, I talk about things I don't know how to say, and I'll be honest, I don't know how long this post will be or if it will be several, but I know I'm going to be really honest. In hopes of a couple of things- that I will get it out of me once and for all and find a little therapy for myself in doing so, stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, and relax. And possibly if it helps someone to understand another or themself better, then that will be a good thing too.


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