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::editor's perogative:: revised edition of earlier post.

i fell in love when i was 14. when i was 15 i had my first boyfriend. who turned out to be someone i am still friends with, but was horribly immature. he broke up with me 5 months later via the phone, also via his best friend. (yes, his best friend did it over the phone for him. stupid man.) when i was 16 the guy i'd fallen in love with at 14, died. it took me 10+ years to deal with what he did and the why before i could get through more than one day without thinking of him. people grieve differently, i make no apologies. when i was 17 i left for college. 4 years of classes, fun, friends, more stupid men, etc. i worked at a church volunteering. and here is where i met my first kids. hi amy!! i began to have my eyes open to how other people live, and lived with strangers for the first time in my life. my roommates where a little crazy. d. was a party girl on a dry campus, and j. was just crazy. then j2 moved in when j moved out, and things got a little better. at 18 i lost my virginity to a very stupid, very pushy man. (read weird things to mention post, you'll see). at 19 i met the girl on campus who everyone wanted to be friends with, and most people were because she's just that cool, mari. whose website used to be on here, but they kind of stopped paying for the site, so it's not there. but if you want her cd let me know and i can get you one. she was one of my best friends while in school. and i'm glad we're friends again. at 20 (and 21) i went to MD to work at a camp for the summer. this is where i found my camp home. camp wright. for the time i had there, the friends i made, i will be thankful for life. kate, z, bennie, kip, rick, brenden, karrie, tim, t-bone, bud, karl, and of course the vanimal, thanks. when i was 21 i met long term relationship #1, aka the cwob. less than 2 months before graduation from college. we're still friends, he's a good guy, we had fun, we worked at our relationship, we liked each others' families, he was definitely a good part in my life. the breakup was hard. i was reminded every day for a week, along with a hug, from one of my grandad types at my church 'this too shall pass'. it did. (which overlaps, but when i was 22 i got my first real career job. i was lucky to work at a place, a church, that is still my church family, my home. i am thankful for the entire congregation always). when i was 22 i lost my favorite aunt to cancer. she was my second mom. i love my aunt susan with all i am, still. i will always miss her. she was an artist and painted a picture of me. it was entitled 'katie and the crab'. note that it says AND THE- not that i was a crab. i am lucky to have such a reminder of her, but it doesn't make me miss her less. when i was 23, my grandma died. my mom's mom. another one of my hero's gone. and i still want to pick up the phone to call her. i still miss her kolatshkis at christmas (although my mom is doing pretty good with hers), i still want to go to her house and have tea and stand on the register when the heat turns on, i still want to be wrapped in her arms and know beyond anything else in the world that i am someone's first priority. when i was 24 i dated one of my best friends. again, we had lots of fun, he's a great guy, we're still friends, and i will always be thankful for the time we had together. mostly, the way he was and is always honest with me about what i'm doing, because it makes me really look at me, even when i don't want to. when i was 25 i left the church i was working for and began working for a chiropractor. it gave me the dream to be a massage therapist and help people. and he is the best doctor because he is truly caring about his patients. (which does create backups sometimes because he gets talking). when i was 25 also, i left the area i grew up in and the area i'd been living in and went to VA to be a nanny. i loved my girls, and we had lots of fun together. i miss those two more than i can say, but it was for a year, and i did it. at 26 i worked at a camp and was a director of a small camp within the camp. i was fired for reasons that i've never been told. i was given lies, and left VA shortly thereafter. i came home and spent time with my family and looked for new work and survived the disasterous mess that camp left me in. i'd had a job, with good money, a good house, and a good group of kids who i knew and liked, all lined up. the camp did some dirty work and the church recinded their offer. lucky for me, i had friends in leesburg who took me in for a week and helped me. i wrote letters, i paid my bills, i got mail forwarded to my mom's, and i left in better shape than i'd arrived. thank you kathleen, elizabeth, freddie, and bill. you made life far better than i could have imagined it could have been then. i turned 27 and worked 3 jobs. and months later met rick.

i set out on a narrow way many years ago
hoping i would find true love along the broken road
but i got lost a time or two
wiped my brow and kept pushing through
i couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
every long lost dream lead me to where you are
others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
pointing me on my way into your loving arms
this much i know is true
that God blessed the broken road
that led me straight to you

i think about the years i spent just passing through
i'd like to have the time i lost and give it back to you
but you just smile and take my hand
you've been there you understand
it's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

every long lost dream lead me to where you are
others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
pointing me on my way into your loving arms
this much i know is true
that God blessed the broken road
that led me straight to you


(thank you rascal flats for writing the words my heart was singing)

2 comments:

That my girl is my favorite song. It is exactly the words that will be sung at my wedding whenever in the world that will be. I am so glad you are happy now!

4:22 PM  

It's never easy to loose someone close to you, especially an aunt (speaking from experience)...

6:42 PM  

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