(no longer a nanny)Kate

ACK

i went with rick yesterday to his endocrinologist. and like most women, i see a scale, i'm gonna step on it. regardless of whether i want to know what it says, i will step on, and i will look.

big mistake. i knew i was over 150. i knew i was at least that. i knew my pants have been tight and jeans aren't fitting and all that. i knew dresses which used to be loose a long time ago were no longer nice and comfy. i was 129 when i came home from horrid mount camp. (my name as they treated me badly). i knew i was no longer that weight. however, i did not imagine i was the 160 i read on that scale when i stepped on it. dear God above. how did i reach that weight? what happened to my metabolism over the last 10 years. does it really just stop working? because mine apparently has. dammit. i want it back. i don't need to be the 115 i was in college, or the 120 i was for the 3 years following, but it'd be nice to be a size 8 again. sheesh. so i'm going to start being more careful, being more active, being more aggressive about walking and being outside and not eating bad foods. i should be doing this anyway because of a certain someone who needs to eat only healthy food too. but seriously, 160??? oi.

on another note, i have finally discovered who sings the song 'collide' that i love... no, that i LOVE!!!!! so much. howie day, he is awesome and i L-O-V-E that song so much. unfortunately for me, he is playing in nearby scranton in june, but with dave matthews, so obviously the show has been sold out since the first 10 seconds the tix were on sale. dammit.

(side note, having found howie day and discovered that i can listen to him online via his site, i now have heard 'collide' 10 times in the last 20 minutes)