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One of my favorite (we don't have favorites, right?) students is going to Gordon to major in music. I hope she finds a great guy too. She is awesome! I'll of course encourage her to hang out with the Youth ministry majors!

this is a quote from one of my favorite youth pages, youth specialties. however, this comment hasn't endeared the page to me today. are you kidding? you're excited your youth is going to a Christian college so she can find a great guy??

last night the staff for the 10-12 youth conference met. the conference is actually a big weekend of fun, not at all like a conference with boring meetings and all. we were talking about having a time with the seniors where they can pass along advice to the underclassmen, as well as a time when they can ask questions of the staff. and this morning i was thinking about how one of the things i want to pass along to them is not to rush. don't rush to grow up. don't rush to get out of college. don't rush a relationship. relationships, esp @ roberts, seemed to spring up rapidly and become insanely serious within days to the point that freshmen at my college were not only engaged, but got married that year. at age 18 they were ready to handle marriage, college, looking for a career, having kids, buying a house, etc etc. ...supposedly.

my advice to anyone, don't rush. slow down. especially with marriage and relationships. it is not worth it to do what so many thousands of people do. rush into marriage only to divorce within a couple of years. i am not suggesting i doom my peers to divorce since they married so young. i hope for them that they make it. but i have to say, going to roberts wedding college with the adage 'ring by spring' running through my head makes me wish i'd gone elsewhere. to rush into something because everyone else was made me feel like i was ... well that something must have been wrong with me. i know that there wasn't anything. and i knew it then. but there was still an outside force making me think there was something wrong because i wasn't marrying someone.

were my youth leaders hoping i'd marry my mate from roberts? did i disappoint by not?

because i have to say, i adore the cwob, we had a lot of fun together. but lifelong commitment... i'm glad we didn't make it to one another. he's great, and i think he may look at me the same way, that i'm great. but not for him. we didn't fit right and so not marrying was a smart thing.

i doubt my leaders were disappointed knowing their joy that i have found rick. as well, their personalities were not such that i can see them disappointed in me in any way. what disturbs me is that quote. that is a youth pastor somewhere in the US who hopes his favorite kid will find her husband. will he be disappointed? and although i bet he's hoping she grows and changes and becomes more solid in her faith and discovers what she's looking for in life more than anything, he still posted it. he still said it.

are you kidding me?

(btw, this was the only post that said i hope someone finds someone. there were about 6 others though that said, i found my spouse there.... oi.)


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