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so this past week my life was altered? a bit... rick was home for a week and a half. i haven't seen him this many days in a row since we started dating. and i have to say, it was the most wonderful time. despite little bits of chaos surrounding our individual lives, we spent an enormous amount of time together and it was pure bliss.

it was so relaxing and peaceful to be near him. and everything felt better when seen in the light of what we have together.

i sound like everything is sunshine and roses. and truly, my life is far from it. i spent almost 5 hours yesterday running around and getting paperwork faxed to nyseg (ny state electric and gas) so that they wouldn't shut off my power. i had to ask for help from someone else, and that was horrible. i'm lucky to have the help, but it was still horrid. and i missed three hours of work (where i'm paid hourly) to get this all done. i owe them hundreds of dollars. in addition, my car is failing. he's got issues that can't be fixed. i still haven't paid my rent because i can't, which is hard too, because i also have a car pay.... dammit. i was supposed to call and make arrangements by 4 today and it's 5 after.

in so many ways, my life sucks. i have a college degree and am killing myself, still, working these jobs that pay nothing to try and make ends meet. they won't by the way. the ends i mean.

but rick... he makes life worth living. i am far more alive and happy than i could ever be without him. it isn't that i wouldn't be happy with things. outside of these horrendous negatives, my family is wonderful and i am lucky to have them and friends who care and come to wegmans just to see me. i am lucky in so many ways... but the best part of my life, the best thing that has ever happened to me, the best gift i could ever have been given, i've got. i have a love in my life that i never imagined. and i know i'm lucky. let me never take him for granted. let me always be mindful of how blessed i really am, in so many ways.


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