(no longer a nanny)Kate

loss.

sometimes it happens when you truly, completely least expect it.

my class has undergone some losses lately. not just classmates dropping out or 'failing' out, but two classmates lost parents, an instructor lost her sister in law, and another lost her nephew.

tuesday night, calmly checking my myspace, when i see this headline 'stacey & lexilou are...remembering pablo'. which means nothing if you are not a camp wrighter. but it was significant to me. and further down, i see a bulletin. i've reposted it on both my myspace and facebook. i think she says a lot more, more eloquently than i can say it. as well, she's seen pablo recently, she's been more in touch with him.

pablo was probably one of the most straightforward guys, really genuine people that i've known in my life. his passing hits me hard because of that...and because its been a long time since i actually lost anyone so close to my age. a heart attack at 30. shouldn't happen. and i'm outright stunned that it happened to him and that ...he's gone.

honestly too, i thought of him about 2 weeks ago. the movie, 'i am legend', the bob marley references....bob marley always makes me think of pablo and dante...




and that... that was the thing that made it real. telling dante at almost 1 am last night. knowing that i was breaking this horrible news, hearing him ....disbelieving and breaking down. ...it wasn't until then that it suddenly became real.

and the thought of burying a friend became real.

i love my pabs.