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to be filed under 'kate's had a rough three weeks and really needs a vacation'

so as mentioned, my car was flooded, i got sick and spent a good chunk of one day in the hospital, i moved ... twice now... and had been dating someone and now... well i'm not. so i think i've had about all i can handle. i've honestly looked heavenward multiple times and said 'are you kidding?' seriously. i know there isn't ever more than i can handle, but really, i'm at my breaking point. displayed by the massive house fight that happened 2 days after moving into the house... not good. long story. ...and so we move on.

and of course, there is school. the semester is winding down, which means of course everything is due, and everything best be done. now if not last week. this of course means i need to hurry up and get it done, while studying too. ...maybe i should retitle this 'kate's going to whine. so if you don't want to hear it, come back in a few days'.

really, things are beginning to be better. well they were. till friday. i know that i can be bitchy and whiny. i know that lately, my entire life has felt as though its falling apart and so those around me, closest to me, have had a lot to deal with. more than my normal. as well, i will honestly tell you that i was at the point of going off my anti-anxiety meds, and had begun the day the flood occurred. and now... well i'm still trying to go off of it. i don't want to need it anymore. but its incredibly difficult when things like this all happen at once.

the part i really don't get, is don't i deserve some good to have happened in all this? i am a good honest person. i try hard, i do my work, i don't cheat, i can't lie, i don't steal, i'm a goody two shoes. pretty boring mostly, but i try to be a good person all around. and yet everything in my life fell apart within 3 weeks. including, as mentioned, the relationship that i'd been enjoying and appreciating as the one good thing that was going on. and sean has decided its too much. i don't blame him... i just wish he'd talked it over with me first. let me know he was thinking this before springing it on me.

a few days ago i was working with brandon who was talking about karma and what goes around comes around and the negatives plaguing someone connected to his life. and i looked at him and said 'what about me?' i work hard, honest, i try, etc etc etc.

he told me i was due and that i should play the lottery.

if i win, i'm taking him on vacation.


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