(no longer a nanny)Kate

my dailies.

every day pretty much i read through the blogs posted to the right over there. i check in with friends to see what they blog about, and also a few 'internet friends' that i don't really know to find out who these people are... who else is living out there far away from me, who else finds struggles and conquers fears. and so on... you get the idea. they are my dailies.

today dooce posted something really profound. she does often, but todays... for some reason, todays post seemed... moreso. usually she talks about her daughter leta, or their dog chuck, or her husband jon. usually the posts are funny, candid, really blatantly honest. stuff i like. this one though... i guess you'd have to read it.

somehow, i am still looking for that happily ever after. that isn't to say i think relationships aren't work or that once you find 'it' - you get to just be. its just that seeking that happily ever after is something i still believe in. not that my parents were that way, or many of the people i know. but there have been a few marriages that, while i can assume there was work involved, they just seemed to click. to be a part of each other in such a way that they could in fact just be.

yesterday i attended the quencenara of one of my favorite girls, d. she also happens to be a member of one of my favorite familes, the edmunds. that is a marriage that is so in tune with the two parts, that it just IS. mom and dad edmunds are amazing. they communicate well, they work together, they have fun, they laugh a lot, and they argue. they're real, they let the kids see their arguements and their make ups. that after 30+ years together, they are as in love, if not more so, than the day they married.

last week i spent some time with my 'cousins' collin and ryan. i've posted about their mom, my 'aunt' susan before. she was a phenomenal woman. my 'uncle' has called her an emotional genius (which if i'm lucky, i will have 'inheirited' those genes through osmosis). she was smart, pretty, fun, she knitted, painted, loved life, lived it all, and was always there. the marriage between my 'aunt and uncle' was another one that just was. it breathed on its own, giving life to the two people who were in it. another example to me of how a happily ever after can exist. and that isn't to say there wasn't work involved. that's not where i'm going, its just that they were so incredibly at peace in their relationship, that the work, while not always easy albeit, was just done.

so i'm not trying to disagre with dooce, or say she and her husband aren't having a happily ever after. i think they are. i think they're going to work at it every day. i think they're going to argue and bicker and get on each others nerves. i think jon's going to continue to wage a clog battle that dooce will want to throttle him for... (she really is a must read). but they're living their happily ever after. they have it now. it is real. i see it.

and i know i don't know them personally, but ... well i still think they've got it.

and i still believe in it.