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at the church i work at we have staff meetings every week. our priest is away (in alaska! lucky man getting out of the heat) but we had our meeting as planned anyway. because it's a good time to get together and chat. not much actually has to be accomplished at these meetings, so it's a good thing not much does get accomplished.

anyway, rafael is one of our sextons here and he is a great man. very wise. today he made the comment that we should always start with a moment of silence so that our (individual) power of understanding can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. be it God, the group, whatever our own power is. ...i thought that was cool. he then went on to talk about our obsessions.

(this appears very disjointed, but it really wasn't).

paula and her obsessive/compulsiveness when playing the organ. which she admits to having. it helps her focus and play better. my obsessiveness about my kids. trish's with the order of things here at church. i realized that my own obsession, while known to me, is evident to others. and i think i like that fact. it may not be known by my kids, but others know that my driving force behind most of the things i do is for my kids. i think it makes me feel less crazy about it. knowing that other people see it, get it, and understand enough to not say to me, 'kate, you're crazy with the kids and helping them and all'. it means that although i am doing a lot for them, all of them all of the time, it isn't completely overboard like i sometimes think.

it also does make me appreciate me non-stress-job at wegmans a little too. i get to work and not think too much. thanks danny.


Thanks for your thoughts about my friend Abby-Jill. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry to hear that you had to experience this with your mother. I can't even imagine that.
On a totally different note - I am so impressed that you work 2 jobs. And one of them is a church job! As a fellow church staff member - I want to know when you sleep!

6:47 PM  

i don't lose a lot of sleep anymore. i started in youth ministry right out of college and was 'on call' all the time as the assistant to the pastor. for 3 years i wore myself down and allowed myself no time for myself. (hence previous comments about failed relationships and whatnot, also not grieving my grandmother, no time too busy.)
but now, i am much older and a little wiser. although my kids at this church (as well as throughout central NY and beyond) all know that they can call me at any hour for anything, they don't as much and it's ok. my kids at this church are calmer, more self aware and not partiers. or at least not so i know it. i am also not out to outdo myself in everything i do anymore. so this has allowed me to slow down a bit and realize that the world will not end if i do not do ____ (fill it in, because before i did it ALL).
as well, and this is a big reason, i am only 19 1/2 hours at my church (officially). clearly, i would do anything for my kids any time, (well almost anything) but as i'm only part time, i allow myself more freedom with my time and can work another job. (have to or i'd be out on the street).
it has, btw, taken my a LONG time to be able to relax at all. and get some sleep. (this is the longest reply to a comment i've ever made. sorry i got so long winded).

11:05 PM  

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