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so yesterday i had the doctor appt. with the ear/nose/throat guy that i've been rather dreading and anticipating and hoping it would get here so it could be over.
back in december (i had a sick visit because i was starting to get bronchitis again) my doctor, who i really like and is really on the ball about things, said, (as she checked me over)'huh'. 'there's something on your throat kathryn, i think it's just a cyst. do you feel anything?' now mind you, mom's breast cancer diagnoses had only been 1 year prior. and i was sick. oi. ...as it was nothing i could feel, had been coughing like a fiend, and so on, she decided to wait to do anything till she saw me in jan.

so jan. 6 rolls around so i can have my yearly checkup and she can make sure my body is functioning normally and whatnot. and she looks in my throat and says, 'kathryn, that cyst is still there. it hasn't changed, but i'm sending you to a specialist.' ARGH! what? no no no. but ok, at least she is on top of things like i said she is. she doesn't see it and ignore it. so ok, i'll go to a specialist. he can tell me i have cancer.

so i am 'checking out' of the office and the nurse makes the appointment and tells me its in the building where my mom had her chemo... um, freak out time!!! i was so nervous. she thinks its cancer. i'm going to die. she's sending me to an oncologist.

ok. so he isn't an oncologist. but he upstairs from about 10 of them. and so i finally saw him yesterday and he says, bluntly, 'i will tell you if it's cancer, ok?' which i admit, almost freaked me out more. but at the same time. it didn't. at least he was going to be honest and up front about it. ...'ok, it's cancer right?'

...today i was going to drive rick to his dad's to hang out for the day and take his car to work at wegs because my car sucks in the snow. (and we got 3 more inches at my house overnight). but he gets all fidgety annoyed-esque because we need to go to the store(?) and we're running late. why did we need to go to the store? because he needed to buy cigarettes.

i took my car this morning despite the bad roads. and as i got in my car, i thought, for a second, i wish it was cancer. then maybe he'd quit smoking.

(btw, it's really nothing, my tonsils, (which i still have even though i've had strep throat like 20 times) grow weird. it's probably been this way for ages. but there's nothing wrong with them. thankfully, it isn't cancer.)

5 comments:

I'm glad you're ok...
you really scared me while reading that! but I bet it was more scary to live it. I will call you soon! love and miss you tons!

Val

7:29 AM  

um, so what's up with your webstie? and don't tell me that you haven't been posting, you must be all this time... what's up with my link to it.... no news since august?, please!
are you coming home?????

3:47 PM  

www.blurty.com/users/bollucks

it's supposed to work....

oh, and I totally plan on calling you soon....I don't know when soon is....but whenever I get the chance, we so need to update each other! lol :-)

AND, you're getting my prayer letter, it was sent on on Tuesday, so you should get it soon...hopefully.

And coming home? maybe soon.....ya never know with this kid...lol but yes, hopefully soon for an overdue visit.

Val

9:14 AM  

You totally scared me with that post! Here I was thinking about how my dog might be hurt (which is probably nothing) and suddenly, someone I know (not really, but it feels like I do in the blogworld ;)) has gone through this terribly scary ordeal and might have cancer!

Phew. Glad to hear it was just weird tonsils. :)

4:18 PM  

i'm so sorry i frightened people...

it was meant because i am so frustrated with the smoking boy and wish he'd quit... i didn't mean to frighten people!! ack! sorry!

i honestly wasn't afraid until she actually sent me to see this guy, and even then, she wasn't freaking out and sending me immeadiately, so i couldn't be too worried.

thanks for the concern! i am worried about pig though.

6:42 PM  

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