(no longer a nanny)Kate

so sunday early early morning i was driving home from rochester, hurrying to church, and the song accidentally in love by counting crows came on. and of course, being that it was used in the mmovie shrek 2, i started thinking about the movie.

it's funny how life mirrors film, or the other way around. i so often in my life felt like i didn't fit in. i grew up feeling like i didn't quite fit with my family, and felt more connected to my friends. and now, in my late 20's (at such the wise old age that i'm at) i feel only connected to my family and a few friends. i don't fit the norms of society. never really did in all i liked or was active in.

i was a tech geek in high school (working on all that goes on behind the scenes for plays and concerts and such at the school on stage). i danced, but tech people didn't typically do that. i was very active in my church, which i had friends in, but the friends from one didn't tie to another group. in college i was the liberal episcopalian at the very conservative free methodist college. in my classes i was not only the only episcopalian, but was often one of the very few girls in those classes. most of my friends are guys, i don't get along well with girls because of the pettiness. i don't have the stomach for it.

anyway, the point was the movie, mirroring life. i feel a bit like either fiona or shrek. not fitting societal norms and feeling like a loner.

then i met rick. who is, in every possible way, the exact man i have always hoped i would find. and i can't imagine being luckier. or happier. or more in love. and it was a bit of a fluke too. his sister decided we should meet, and neither of us had any desire to be set up on a blind date, but the next thing we knew, we were crazy for each other. i feel like it was an 'accidental in love' kind of thing. it is also the perfect relationship for me. he makes me feel like i belong, that i fit somewhere. that my life, albeit very different from the life he has lived, isn't weird. that my theology, philosophy, ideas, concerns, and desires aren't out there or strange. for once i feel connected, grounded, home, cared for, loved, needed. i couldn't have asked for more.

i love you rick.

there is something that i see
in the way you look at me
there's a smile, there's a truth in your eyes

but an unexpected way
on this unexpected day
could it mean this is where i belong
it is you i have loved all along

it's no more mystery
it is finally clear to me
you're the home my heart searched for so long
and it is you i have loved all along

there were times i ran to hide
afraid to show the other side
alone in the night without you

but now i know just who you are
and i know you hold my heart
finally this is where i belong
it is you i have loved all along

it's no more mystery
it is finally clear to me
you're the home my heart searched for so long
and it is you i have loved all along

over and over
i'm filled with emotion
your love, it rushes through my veins

and i am filled
with the sweetest devotion
as i, i look into your perfect face

there's no more mystery
it is finally clear to me
you're the home my heart searched for so long
and it is you i have loved
it is you i have loved
it is you i have loved all along