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i wish i knew how to begin this.
i started my summer, ready to go to a camp and change kids lives. it's the middle of the summer and it's over. for me it is anyway. i was released from my contract, which is to basically say that i've been fired. this has never happened to me before, and i don't even fully understand why it's happened. it's scary and upsetting and i'm angry too. and it is making me trust, so much less than ever before.
and certainly the people who know me, and not the place or the situation are going to hear about it from me, and not know what is happening or why either, and so it will end up appearing to be all this bias. and i hope that sometime i can understand what happened.

it doesn't make sense right now. though it may not be the best place for me to have been all summer, i don't think i ... i just don't know.
i do know i miss home so much more. i miss my family and friends so much more. and wish even more that i could go home right now. instead i'm going to richmond to move into a place i hardly know with almost none of my life there, and ... it's so sad. i want to go home.


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