(no longer a nanny)Kate

leaving

God of wonders beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy
precious Lord reveal Your heart to me
You are holy, holy
the universe declares Your majesty
You are holy, holy

this summers' theme, for camp, and for my life. it is my hope it becomes my staff's too... God is good all the time... but these last couple of weeks. .... knowing i'm leaving, my kids, my friends, my new church family, pains me so much. it has been lately much more than i thought. and we can chalk it up to my being an emotional girl, that's fine too. but every place i've left, i've left with some tears and a little sorrow. even high school. (God has it been 10 years already???) when i left college, seeing my chaplain/mentor/advisor/professor as i received my degree, that was my breaking point then. saying goodbyes to my kids from the pulpit in CPC, that was the breaking point. leaving the chiro office, hugging them goodbye, but especially goodbye to my patients did it. and now here... it's not so much the family i've been integrated into for the last year, the girls i'll be leaving. i'll miss them certainly. i love them too. but it's my kids at the church, my adopted parents here, my friends here, who are having babies i'll miss see growing up ... my kids who are my joy in all i do with them, that make me laugh all the time, that are ridiculous about boys (as much as me), that are nurturing and caring of one another, that are thoughtful and thoughtless at the same time. my kids who say things i never have thought.... my kids. it's always the hardest to leave the kids.

i know i'll be back, i know i'll see them all again. i have no question about that. but it's not quite the same, my family is not here, so i will be back, but not like home. ...then again, this has become my family in just a year.... watching mrs h. sign at the services, seeing my kids serving on the alter of God, watching my little ones singing in the choir, the faithfulness of those so young... blows me away. and i'm left in the presence of God each time, to cry over the things i will miss, those things and so much more. i haven't forgotten any of it, not a moment...

faro-faro's songs from 5th grade, ms. christina's smack in the eye from collin and pat, helping the mentally disabled bowl, new beginnings weekends, each one, being prayed for by kids, meeting my cpc kids, watching nick and nick's baseball, tim and katelyn's soccer, nathan's basketball, britt, bernie, ky, dance their hearts out, katie's singing, adriane's tennis and lost dog, dunking booths, face games, serious mess nights, wuh-wuh-juh-duh classes, white water trips, the retreat, kelly and neils nonsense, my girlies 'hola chickas', richard, kevin, collin ~their friendship, my senior girls and all they've been to me... shrine mont, .... every moment, every one of my kids. how lucky am i that this list is only a small part of all i've done?

which is why, at the end of the day God is a God of wonders, He is Holy, He is precious, and all declares His majesty.... and He's given me so much, that how can i not praise Him for those gifts? hundereds of kids, who have taught me more and given me more than any class, any professor, any teacher could ever teach me, and any one person could ever give to me. and my new kids, who reminded me in the interview that sometimes the most important thing, is to be invited to the wedding - whenever it is, because to be a part of their lives, means they are a part of mine. the biggest part. without them, i would not be who i am.