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there's no place like home

i was convinced by a certain someone to come home sat. vs today, and am thankful that he did.
being at home, at my church home with people who have known me, literally, my entire life, or most of it, is such a comfort... it is indescribable. i sat with some of 'my girls' this morning and we giggled a lot about nonsense and had a great time. (we did behave during the service though. honest.) and it was just... a sigh of relief to be able to relax and not have to dash off to something or worry about being up on time tomorrow or get miss s. dressed, always a trial, or miss j. to school on time, another trial. at their ages, they aren't morning people. neither am i.
so it is good to take a break from my norm and be home. although, i was enjoying my last day or so there so very much...... mm hmm.
i have surpassed my own expectations with this job and lasted 7 months. at time i didn't know how i lasted 7 minutes... and i have realised it is mostly because i don't like the idea of raising other peoples children. it is nothing against the family, the girls, the parents, them at all. it is simply the idea that a virtual stranger is living in their home, raising their children... and they are missing snow days, pushing their kids on the swings, making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches... it's the norm of our days, the girls and i, and mundane of 'house wife' 'mommy' existence that is what my days are filled with.... but they (the parents) miss out on every minute.
it really is sad.
so i am in the midst of my job search, school search, etc. am wondering if i will stay in the area... i might, but then again, i may not. i love my church, love my friends (hate the idea of leaving when syd's having a baby soon! yay!!) but not being a southern belle... we will have to wait and see.
christmas joy to my friends and family. i wish all of you the best.
pip, .... i suppose there really aren't words. but my heart is feeling for you. knows the ache. is familiar with it. God's peace be yours.
pookie, gabe, b., crazyworkoutboy :), syd, keith, mr. noo-naley merry christmas. i miss you all.
hugs and kisses... to s.


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