perfection
i've been sick this past weekend (like dehydrated deathly ill), and spent probably WAY too much time online... puttering around facebook and reading blogs. and watching movies. and generally not doing a heck of a lot.
thinking mostly. while reading and being ill.
i feel like i won't ever really be ...that good. i read the blogs over there (angie in particular as a mom about my age, maybe younger, and so many others) and thinking, good God, how do people, how do these woman have their lives THAT together? how can one person handle that many things, kids, dogs, family, jobs, home, etc etc etc etc and be so organized? have things so prepared? so planned? so ready for everything that comes their way?? and while they're sick? or they have parents or children who are ill? i guess you push yourself through it and do whatever you can but i mean....
really??
really?
and having just moved, i have SO much stuff i don't need. which i think i've mentioned before, but having it all in one place *my living room* is really making me certain that i want less. and i want to be more organized and more together and ...for a variety of reasons that i don't need to share here, ready to move again in a few years.
less is more and simplify and so on and so forth.
for a packrat, let me tell you, it is insanely hard.
and i keep reminding myself i'll never hit perfection, not even come remotely close to these women or be the ideal to others or be seen as someone... "worthy" to some people. but i'm enough for me. for my family and friends.
luck or blessed by God or provided for by the universe, whatever it is, i'm enough.
(thanks peej for reminding me.)
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