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talking to people lately, and reading a lot, as it's my nostalgic time of year, i'm realizing more about the journey i'm on. freddie was telling me about the book 'into thin air' and the man who forged his way, in life and into the wilderness, only to die by the side of a road a short distance from a town... and excerpted from 'a river runs through it' ..."eventually all things merge into one and a river runs through it. the river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. on some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs..."

so the journey i'm on, has had a lot of impacts ~ the raindrops that are timeless and healing of friends and family, great scholars, poets, Biblical writers, God Himself. at the same time the words underneath ...that cut deeper sometimes than we know ~ the impact of bullies from elementary school and the mean spirited people who tell you you're not good enough. teachers close to retirement who don't care if words sting, or maybe never did. former employers who destroy your sense of self.... but impacts all the same. shaping this person on this journey. a journey she's got to forage for herself, be it whatever it may be.

the crossroads are there, and i'm there. trying to see which way to go, changed and touched by so many wonderful people and so many ...difficult people. but never left the same as before. i have to choose to do what is best for me, the chance of dying by the side of the road is a chance i have to take. i've been playing it safe too long. this doesn't mean i'm about to walk the country searching for myself, don't freak out pookie, but the chances i'm thinking of, may take me away somewhere for a while.

the journeys we take are there whether we realize it or not. they are our life. i've been on a few that have taken me places i've fallen in love with ~ my college, my camp, my lake, my churches, to my babies, to my friends. those journeys, i'd never take them back or choose to live without them. as much as the last one or two made me question what good came out of it, or whether it was worth it.... it was. the people make it that way. maybe it's time for a bigger one.. after all, if you read carefully the quote below, from the movie i belong in i'm not one to stay for love. ...not for long, it's says for love. love may be here at home, still, but i may not be. the next step in the journey... ....


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