a dawson's creek dork
that's what i am. it's an addiction really. and it isn't the best one... probably not the worst though. between that and friends, i think i'm ok. being that's about all i watch, ooh and cosby on nick at nite. ...anyway the point was that i am becoming a dawson's creek dork and watching it too often. the deal with the show is it's made up of hopelessly romantic teens in constant angst using words that i've never heard any teenager utter, much less understand.... :) nothing against any of my kids, there's a lot of you and i know you're all crazy smart, but these kids are ridiculous.
anyway, a couple days ago, joey and dawson were watching a movie and they had this conversation....
what good is their love if it's not strong enough to overcome the circumstances? ~ dawson
because in spite of the circumstances, they never stop loving ~ joey
anyone who knows me knows i am a hopeless romantic. literally, i am hopeless. and my heart has broken enough times in the last two years with one person that you'd think i'd learn by now. you'd think i'd get it... but then i hear some song, and i feel just the same. i think about it, and the desire and drive to make it work are there. and even a dawson would have gotten tired of the pain by now and walked away. and maybe i'm more resilient, or stupid, or just believe in love more deeply and more strongly than anything in this world. maybe i'm a glutton for punishment or maybe i simply can't walk away because of my savior complex. my parents and certain friends think i'm insane and am killing myself over something that will never work. ...even his friends are saying, do what you need to do for YOU... i hate to say it, this is what i need. HE is what i need. and a dawson i'm not. but in love i still am.
i suppose this is all i can say...
If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
(ok, so the song fits except for that line...)
I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms
~daniel bedingfield, 'if you're not the one'
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