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what to say.. think, be, do?
wish i knew.

i feel so many things, relief over some emails i've gotten lately. thankful for some phone calls. happy some people have been around recently, because without them... i'm not sure where i'd be. screamin' love. i got it.

but beyond this, ... i've been working on the resume, again, (really hadn't thought i'd have to do it again so soon) and sent out several today, several before now too. ...i went to a career center, just to figure out how to handle the being fired deal, and ended up taking a career placement kind of test.

turns out, i'd be a great minister....

ironic. don't ya think?

but i'm looking in new fields, sort of, and trying to see where i'm supposed to be. ...i still feel lost. for a lot of reasons. and i really, really hate that feeling. i've gotten numerous emails about my leaving the field, and i want to say, up front to those friends of mine, who i know love me and have seen me with my kids and all, i'm not leaving because of what happened. i question my abilities certainly. but i think it'd be better to take a break for a bit and evaluate if this is the sector God wants me in. it may be that i am actually needed outside the 'churchy' realm... and right now, i'm feeling a little disillusioned too. bear with me guys.

but thanks... tim, pete, pookie, pip, sally, the danas, jon-e, ker, leo, re-pecker, phyllis, maria, syd, the martins, cpc... much love back at ya.


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